Its been three years……

Its been three years. But what does that mean? 1095 days. It actually doesn’t sound like a lot. Time is freaky when you live in and out of grief. Like you are in the real world and step behind a curtain. When you pop back out months have passed.

So its been three years. The start of December I felt down. I always do. And as we got closer to the 22nd December and Xmas I get better.

But today something happened that threw me. I found a dead bird on our balcony. A silver-eye. Belly up. I haven’t found one since before you died. Before you died there were four or five dead baby birds that we found. At the time I thought it was odd but shrugged it off. Then, after you died I thought it must have been a sign from above, trying to prepare me.

Then they stopped. Then 1095 days later I find one again. Probably just the rantings of a bereaved mother. Trying to find answers to everything.

I miss you bubba. That will never stop. Happy Heaven Day.